In Love With A Stripper

She dances late into the night, her hips swaying and fingers curled in invitation. She floats amidst the weakness of men and their desires. She is the goddess whose temple they flock to for sex, lust, alcohol, drugs, and escape.

Her Name Was Amber
It suited her: a namesake tattooed on each shoulder and jet black hair coursed down her back. Etched across her ribcage was the word ‘UNBREAKABLE.’ This after surviving a motorcycle crash at over 60mph.

It was a night that started out with simple conversation. It transformed into a turbulent relationship, one of intense and lofty highs mingled with rock bottom lows. It was the best drug you’ve ever had coupled to the worst hangover you could possibly imagine.

I dated a stripper. And not only was she unbreakable, she was unforgettable.

Should You Do It?
Frankly, I don’t think you can handle it. It is a most hazardous affair. However, this is Vegas and there’s a reason you’re here. You seek adventure. Thrills. An experience you’ll brag about forever.

If you’re willing to listen, then I can show you the way.

Who Are They?
Tempestuous and beautiful creatures who live for the moment. Breathtakingly honest. Their lives lived by different rules than the ones you or I follow. They are volatile, intense, and unpredictable.

The Approach
Never forget that they are professionals. This is their job and they get paid handsomely for it. They are natural born hustlers and their god is the almighty Benjamin. However, in my experience, it’s possible to bridge the divide, to go from professional to personal.

The Setting
You can tell a lot about a man by how he acts in a strip club. Does he act like the same person he is outside? Or does he treat it like a consequence-free environment? You’re in a noisy club surrounded by men in various stages of sexual arousal. How do you single yourself out from the pack? Well, you see those guys close up to the rail? The ones that carrying on as if they’ve never seen a pair of tits in their lives? Don’t be one of them.

Engage
Forget “negging” techniques and bullshit pick up lines. Did I not mention that these girls are pros? They meet some of the most pathetic members of society every day at work. They’ve developed the skills to preserve their sanity as well as a host of defensive tactics against being verbally abused and asked out on dates.

Charm
Approach a dancer with the objective of dating rather than scoring. They meet men who try to score with them night after night so they know what you’re after. Be courteous and respectful.

Don’t get drunk but do buy her a drink. Be respectful of her boundaries. Chat her up but don’t tell her how hot she is; trust me, she knows.

Be the eye of the hurricane: a calm center around the swirling chaos of sexual energy that surrounds her.

Dress to Impress
Clean and smart professional look will go a long way to singling you out in her mind. Look like somebody she would enjoy talking to.

The Exchange
Mix up the conversation; go from talking about herself to your own life. Don’t be boring. Everybody has something exciting that they’ve done before. Bring that up.

The Plunge
Once she knows your name and she’s confided hers to you, it’s time to ask her out. Remember, her life is a flurry of activity. They live life without restrictions. Wherever you go, make sure it reflects that. My suggestion? Indoor skydiving or the gun range. Vegas provides.

Seal the Deal
If you’ve made it to the date then consider yourself special. She meets plenty of guys who are potential dates so you already have a leg up on the competition. But don’t get complacent; professional dancers waste no time. For them time is a commodity. Follow it up with dinner at your place and pour on the charm to seal the deal.

The Aftermath
Congratulations. You’ve achieved the holy grail of hookups. Unless of course you’ve fallen in love. Then may the Gods above help you because no one else will. But that is a subject for another day…